“MOM! Where’s my track hoodie?”
“MOM! Will you play a game with me?”
“Mom, where should we have my bridal shower?”
“Mom, we haven’t done my graduation announcements yet.”
With daughters in four different life stages, there is always plenty to do! This year, alone, we have one graduating high school then headed to college AND one getting married plus all the mental, emotional, and logistical tasks that come with those seasons. AND we have a daughter involved in all things sportsie, AND a daughter who always seems to need just a little bit more of me.
I’ve always battled self-esteem issues. Whether as a musician, a writer, a mama, or a wife, I’ve always felt not quite capable. In writing, they call it “imposter syndrome,” but, if I’m honest, I’ve always felt a little “less than” at whatever I’m trying to do.
Maybe I don’t trust my instincts enough, or maybe they’re weak. I love to walk alongside mamas in the trenches. I tell them to follow their mama heart and do what it says, yet I often fail to do so. Just last week, I felt a bit of overwhelm trying to be everything to everybody because I just didn’t know HOW to be what they needed.
Suddenly, I heard the Lord whisper to my heart, “What would a mom do?” This took me off guard. I’ve been a mom for over TWO decades! Should I really be asking this question? In that moment, though, this question brought me so much peace. It helped me slow down and ask myself to trust my gut. It helped me look at each child’s situation and choose to take a step toward them, whatever their need.
This surprising question brought with it an important realization: Yes, I SHOULD be asking myself this question! Although I’ve been a mom for many years, I’ve never been a mom in THIS season, before. I’ve never been the mother of the bride OR a mother-in-law! I’ve helped a child leave the nest, but not off to college in another state. I’ve never not been the mother of children. Our youngest entered the teen years a couple weeks ago, and now I only have teens and adults! It occurred to me that I am in uncharted territory, and that’s ok. At that moment, I had to let myself be a beginner.
Oh mama, can you relate? Take a deep breath with me. Are you a first-time mama to a tiny newborn? Are you potty-training your first? Sending your baby off to Kindergarten…or college…in the fall? Are you, like me, learning to parent adult children? Maybe you’re learning to be a grandma for the first time, Whatever new phase you are entering or approaching, you may feel like a colt learning to walk.
Plant your feet right where you are. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Hello there. Welcome to this new season!” Maybe your baby needs extra snuggles or feedings today. Perhaps, it’s time to buy that budding toddler some “big kid undies” and tackle potty-training . When you take that independent preschooler to town for Kindergarten clothes, grab some extra Kleenexes and chocolate for the mom, and give her permission to grieve the end of the baby years and celebrate the new chapter. If you’re preparing for your first graduation or wedding, ask friends who have gone before you. They are willing counselors! Celebrate and savor each moment. Drink it in!
Whatever new thing you’re facing, give yourself permission to do or be something new. Give yourself permission to learn a new skill or release an old one. Give yourself permission to be a beginner, no matter what you’re beginning. Give yourself permission to ask yourself that important question. “What would a mom do, right here, right now?” Then, go, do it! You’ve got this, mom!
Lord, help each mama reading these words. Give her boldness and bravery, excitement, and follow-through. Teach her to give herself, and her people, lots of grace. Give her supernatural ability to see the needs of her family and the creativity to meet each one, head-on. Help her give herself permission to be a beginner, to do something new, and to depend on YOU more than she depends on herself. In Jesus’ name, amen!