How did you know she was your daughter? Why did you adopt? Why did you go all the way to China? For many, these are questions that require long hours of probing, prayer, deliberation, and discussion. For us, the answer is very different: God threw the door open, and we walked through it!
Our adoption journey was more than two decades in the making! In 1994, I began to entertain thoughts of adoption. Five years later, when I married my husband, adoption was always something we planned to do “some day.” Fast forward another decade–and three daughters. From the time our third daughter was very young, my husband sensed that there was “a girl missing” between our second and third daughters.
Many friends began to participate in orphan hosting, and several adopted children in this way. The children came to America to be hosted by American families and find their forever homes. In 2015, God spoke to me that He wanted us to host a child. I relayed this to my husband, and he agreed to let me start the paperwork to participate in the program.
By the next morning, I had e-mailed the hosting director and looked online at the children who still needed host families. There were two girls left. My eye was drawn to a pretty-in-pink little girl whose advocacy name was Melissa. She was 14 months older than our youngest daughter. Soon, my two oldest daughters (not in each other’s presence) chose the same little girl! I wasn’t sure why we all chose the same little girl. We were just hosting her, after all–or so we thought.
Thus began a flurry of paperwork, a preliminary homestudy, working with friends to create a soothing environment and schedule, rearranging of a bedroom, researching and gathering foods, and a million other tasks! Less than five weeks after God nudged me, 13 exhausted, hungry, and scared kids arrived at the St. Louis airport. My husband didn’t tell me right away, but the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew she was his daughter!
I am a bald Caucasian lady, and this poor little girl had clearly never seen bald OR Caucasian! She was afraid of me. We soon added lice treatment to the mix, which definitely did not help our connection. However, we pushed through and bit by bit, things got a little easier.
On Day #6, my husband made a matter-of-fact statement: “You know what we have to do.” I did. It was undeniable that God was calling us forward to an unexpected adventure! Even our oldest daughter, who was away at summer camp and hadn’t met her yet, was quick to ask if we were adopting her.
We enjoyed that month getting to know her, introducing her to American culture, and working on the beginning of a massive amount of paperwork. The protocol of the program stated that we weren’t allowed to tell the kids of adoption plans in case of unforeseen circumstances. At the end of that month came one of the most difficult days of our life: the day we put those kiddos (and a piece of our hearts) on an airplane back to China! We prayed (and cried) around her the night before. Early the next morning, families arrived at the airport to say our good-byes. It’s an unexpected grief to put a child back on a plane, knowing she is yours when she isn’t, yet.
Over the next several months, we filled out piles of paperwork, got fingerprinted, and began the back and forth process of international adoption. In April of 2016, we finally got the call: Travel Approval! In a few short weeks, our daughter would be in our arms. On May 1, 2016, we boarded a plane with two other families to bring our children HOME!
On May 4, in the Civil Affairs Office, in Harbin, China, we were reunited with our daughter, and our friends were reunited with their sons. On May 5, she became OUR daughter! We went through another difficult transition period. She still had a difficult time with me, which is common. We did have some beautiful moments including nail painting, swimming together, and feeding Koi fish. We even spent Mother’s Day in China!
We could have never predicted this wild and crazy journey! It was orchestrated by God, Himself! Some days aren’t easy, and others are just plain hard–just like the rest of this life. Just as He sees the sparrow, He sees each one of His children. At just the right time, He revealed adoption as His next best yes for our family. We are so blessed that we said Yes!