Recently, I asked my readers to share the “best piece of mom advice you ever received.” The answers were varied yet had similarities. I received so much great advice that I was able to create TWO printables this time! The focus seemed to be hearts. When we focus on the condition of our hearts, first, we are able to parent more effectively. When we focus our interactions on our children’s hearts instead of behaviors, we allow God to mold us and our children.
Today, I want to share some of my favorites and my own thoughts about these life-changing tips. Some are so simple that they never cross our minds until we find ourselves reaping the consequences of NOT doing them.
- Focus first on your own heart. First, we need to fix our focus on Jesus if we long to lead our children toward Him. Ask Him to transform you by the renewing of your mind.
- Rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you. Ask for wisdom, grace, peace, and direction for each child, in each situation. We serve the Creator of our children, and He is faithful to help us train them up in His ways.
- Rules are important. Teach them early. Make them clear. Enforce them consistently. Change them as your child grows in maturity and responsibility.
- Relationships are more important than rules. Rules don’t change our children, but when combined with relationship (with us and with God), our children are more likely to grow in the way they should go. We must be careful, when loving our kids, not to remove our love and support when they make unwise choices or go against our wishes.
- Teach decision-making skills. Start early with small choices like snacks and outfits. Teach them that their opinions are important. Help them learn to make choices confidently. Teach them to own the consequences (positive and negative) of their choices. This skill will serve them for a lifetime.
- Teach your kids what God says about sin. We need to help our kids recognize sin and wrong-doing. We can teach kids to repent (turn away) from sin and temptation and to seek and offer forgiveness. As we teach these skills in small situations, we train them for larger situations to come.
- Say yes whenever possible and choose your battles carefully. It’s easy to fall into a rut of saying no to our children’s requests because it requires less effort. However, saying yes to inconsequential requests helps build relationship. I’m not suggesting to cater to their every whim. We can save our “no’s” for when it really counts.
- Foster their faith. We need to plant seeds of faith in our children and teach them to love God’s Word. However, we cannot be their Holy Spirit or accept salvation for them. We must allow them space to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling, even when it’s difficult to watch.
- Trust God with your child in all situations, at all times. We are not the author and finisher of their faith, but God is. We can (and should) pray constantly for our kids–for their todays and for their tomorrows.
- Ask God to fill in the gaps between your human parenting and His perfect will. This is one of my favorite tips, shared with me by a dear missionary friend. This humble prayer admits that we can’t do it all. It’s a prayer that says, “Lord, I’ll do my best and trust you to do the rest.” That’s all He asks us to do, anyway.
No two families (or even two children) are identical. Advice does not constitute cookie cutter instructions. On the other hand, there are some tips and ideas that are simply good to remember on this roller coaster ride called parenting. Sometimes, we just need to go back to basics and get re-grounded in truth and wisdom.