I recently kicked off a question series on my social media to get to know my readers better. I know the struggles I’ve had as a mom. There are so many things about which veteran moms say, “Oh Honey, every mom (or baby) does thaaaaat!” However, I always wished somebody would write a book with thaaaat title to make mom life a wee bit easier. So, I set out to walk alongside mamas to investigates some of those things.
The first question was…Name one thing you wish you’d known as a new mama.
The results were deep, thoughtful, and important! Here are my favorites that need to be seen by every mama. They aren’t in any particular order. They are all important.
If you chimed in with an answer but don’t see it, don’t worry, and watch for it, later. There are more of these lists on the way. Your answer might fit better in one of those.
- Some days, survival equals victory. If your people are fed, clothed, and sleeping peacefully, you just experienced a Mom win! You can go to bed satisfied. Dishes and laundry will be there tomorrow. Sleep!
- Every parent fears they will ruin their child. Rest assured that if this possibility consumes you, it’s highly unlikely. If you care about your child, you will do your best to love them well! Relax. Enjoy the ride.
- A crying newborn is NOT indicative of your failing to comfort them. Sometimes, babies just cry. It means that something is a little off, and they can’t explain it to you. You’ll learn to recognize different cries, but sometimes, your presence and attempts at comfort are the best you can do for them.
- It’s ok to ask for information AND for help. It is not a sign of failure or inadequacy to need either. If you don’t know something, ask somebody who might. If you need help, ask someone to help you. People are willing, but they can’t meet a need unless they know about it.
- Allow yourself space to be a beginner. This holds true for each new stage of life and parenting. If you’ve never done it before, you can’t expect yourself to know how. In each stage, admit that you are a beginner there, and then educate yourself on that phase. Again, ask lots of questions. Be a student.
- Give yourself plenty of grace. You will NOT be a perfect parent! You will make mistakes. That makes you a human parent. The only perfect parent is God. Ask Him for wisdom, words, and ways to parent well.
- Mom guilt is NOT a fruit of the Spirit! It is from the enemy of your soul. Do not pick it up, and if you’ve already picked it up, lay it down, and walk away. Speak to the source of mom guilt. Remind him that it is not yours, because you are a child of the Most High God!
- Allow yourself to soak in all the moments and seasons of motherhood. Yes, this even includes the hard ones. Seasons are temporary. They never last forever. Trials and seasons are gifts from God. Not one second of pain (or exhaustion) is wasted. God will use each one to grow and stretch you and to bring glory to Himself. Allow Him to work in you and through you.
- Self-care is a necessity, NOT a luxury. I didn’t learn this until our fourth child. Boy, did I miss out! You know the speech they give you on an airplane? “In case of turbulence, a mask will drop down in front of you. Secure your mask first before placing the mask on your child.” You can’t care for your child if you are on the floor of the aircraft, gasping for air. Motherhood is the same way. You can’t make sandwiches and bottles, clean up messes, and referee squabbles if you are hiding in a pile of clothes in the laundry room! Take time for walks, reading a devotional, or listening to music. Do whatever brings refreshment to you. Listen to me, Mom! Self-care is NOT selfish! It affords you strength for the journey.
- Take one day at a time. I remember almost hyperventilating when my mom used to give me this advice! “But, Mom, if I take one whole day at a time, I may not survive!” So, let’s rewrite this advice for extra-turbulent mom days: Take 5 minutes at a time, and when necessary, take one MOMENT at a time; one breath at a time! Step back and take a deep breath. If needed, take a few more. Then, take one small step forward. Then, take another.
You’ve got this, Mom! 2 Peter 1:3 reminds us that we have everything we need to live a life of godliness. God will equip us for each task to which He calls us. We have been called for such a time as this.